the age of worry.
it's been almost a month since my last blog post.
there's a couple of different points i want to hit in this post as there have been some things and thoughts in my head circulating that need to come to life.
first off, i have been in my own little world a bit. focusing on these last couple weeks of class and trying to do my best to keep my marks high, i have forgotten to take a moment to write out my words. as a counsellor i'm learning the utmost importance of self care as i've mentioned more than once in my other posts. i have definitely neglected to do so for myself in the last little bit and it's become evident i need to work harder at that. my body likes to remind me in different ways that i'm holding too much stress. my hair falls out in bigger amounts and my neck constantly hurts. i will always be honest and open about the challenge of self care but the importance of it as well. that being said, i'm spending this friday morning by myself, in my cozy bed with an espresso, my headphones in listening to new music friday, writing this post and making a list of all the fun things i want to do with one of my best friends. (i always need something to look forward to in the future even if life feels okay and happy at the moment)
secondly, i have this list of the person i dream of being, it's a simple list. it involves things like having a morning yoga sequence that i wake up and crave doing. to have an espresso machine and make my americanos just the way i like them. to have enough space in the freezer for ice cube trays to make iced tea. to make a nice breakfast with coconut oil and fresh eggs while listening to my favourite band or cbc radio or catch up with a friend on the phone before the day starts. to be a vegetarian again. to have my own routine unaffected by others. to go to the gym after work as often as possible. to sip wine in the evening after a long day at work with a good friend. to go to bed content with my life, and repeat. i crave the little things in life. i love the simplicity of doing absolutely everything with purpose and intention. i always find myself living in other people's space. there's pros and cons to this. i enjoy having the background noise of there being other humans in the house. i always thought i wanted to live alone but i'm moving away from that idea. at the same time, i am just as much an extrovert as i am an introvert. i re energize by being alone and doing my own thing and not having to answer to someone or having to tell someone where i am.
second thought part 2, i feel like i've put the true person i want to be on the back burner since i've become an adult. i have all these ideas of who i want to be. but i have had a number of excuses: i was living on the road, i was doing a contract job that i was unsure of what my future held or where it would be, i'm in school and this isn't permanent. i am coming up to almost being finished school. "the seasons are changing and i'm running out of excuses" we are saying goodbye to summer, hello to fall. fall has always been mine and my best friend's favourite season. i feel like i can breathe easier with the cold weather. i enjoy wearing over sized sweaters and feeling constantly comfy. i'm about to enter the next part of my life. it's one i never thought i would have. i found a career path/industry i want to be apart of. i want to help other humans in whatever capacity i can. life really is about people. but life is also about me. i'm learning to be selfish, and not to be sorry about it. i have been toying with the decision of what province i'm meant to live in. i have asked many people their opinions, talked to my family about where my head is, and have taken my best friends thoughts very seriously. i have learned a lot about myself in the last year. i have learned what emotions and behaviors are prominent. i constantly think i'm suppose to stay in nova scotia because this is where my family is, and my friends i have had since my formative years. i love every single one of my humans here and i would not be the person i am today without them. this decision has nothing to do with me not wanting to be near them, quite the opposite, i wish i could take them with me. i felt guilty about wanting to live in a different province because i felt like i owed them an explanation, that i was worried about hurting their feelings and that i should feel guilty about not wanting to be here. it's not that i don't want to be here, it's that there's this huge country out there and i have been blessed to have so many people i love in so many different areas of canada. halifax is lovely, but at the same time it's extremely isolating to me. yes i have people here, but everyone is doing their own thing, as they should be! i'm happy and proud my family and friends have their lives here and their roots. i just don't know where to plant mine. i have tried to convince myself that halifax is where those roots are suppose to be and i'm still unsure. that's why i've changed my mindset. nothing is permanent. a location is just a location and you can always change your physical space if needed and wanted. this current season i'm about to enter is a selfish one, i'm going to embrace all those little things my soul is craving and just go for it and figure it out. we are also lucky to live in a time where social media and smart phones make it easy to connect with loved ones in different spaces, which leads me into my third and final thought for this week.
the third thought i want to get off my chest is the stigma around social media and millennials and all of the negative connotations that come with being born when i was born and being apart of the generation i am in. i for one, and super proud and happy to be a 90's baby and to have had the privilege of growing up as a kid without social media and technology, but then moved into the period of this super connected world. yes there are pros and cons to both. i am happy to have experienced both and to know the difference, yes we may be addicted to our phones. but i believe if you are able to have the happy medium between connecting with people through your phone as well as the people in front of you, you've got it made. i don't think it's fair that people judge us for being connected. we should be embraced and applauded for feeling comfortable and brave enough to share our thoughts with the internet. again, i know there is a good side and a bad side to this. i'm strictly talking about the good side. it's an opportunity and space for people to share what's going on in their lives. we are entering a time period where the stigmas around mental illness and human rights are slowly being diminished and i think we can thank the internet for that because it has given people a space to be themselves, to know it's okay to talk about how you are feeling and to be honest with yourself and the world. i don't think there is anything wrong with social media if you are using it correctly. kids should be taught nowadays the safe way of using it and how it change be extremely beneficial. we should not be shunned or judged or talked down to because we like to be connected. it's 2018, as far as i'm concerned, everything goes.
in the words of john mayer, alive in the age of worry, smile in the age of worry, go wild in the age of worry, and sing worry, why should i care?
these are my thoughts from the sea for the week, thank you if you've made it this far, xo
there's a couple of different points i want to hit in this post as there have been some things and thoughts in my head circulating that need to come to life.
secondly, i have this list of the person i dream of being, it's a simple list. it involves things like having a morning yoga sequence that i wake up and crave doing. to have an espresso machine and make my americanos just the way i like them. to have enough space in the freezer for ice cube trays to make iced tea. to make a nice breakfast with coconut oil and fresh eggs while listening to my favourite band or cbc radio or catch up with a friend on the phone before the day starts. to be a vegetarian again. to have my own routine unaffected by others. to go to the gym after work as often as possible. to sip wine in the evening after a long day at work with a good friend. to go to bed content with my life, and repeat. i crave the little things in life. i love the simplicity of doing absolutely everything with purpose and intention. i always find myself living in other people's space. there's pros and cons to this. i enjoy having the background noise of there being other humans in the house. i always thought i wanted to live alone but i'm moving away from that idea. at the same time, i am just as much an extrovert as i am an introvert. i re energize by being alone and doing my own thing and not having to answer to someone or having to tell someone where i am.
second thought part 2, i feel like i've put the true person i want to be on the back burner since i've become an adult. i have all these ideas of who i want to be. but i have had a number of excuses: i was living on the road, i was doing a contract job that i was unsure of what my future held or where it would be, i'm in school and this isn't permanent. i am coming up to almost being finished school. "the seasons are changing and i'm running out of excuses" we are saying goodbye to summer, hello to fall. fall has always been mine and my best friend's favourite season. i feel like i can breathe easier with the cold weather. i enjoy wearing over sized sweaters and feeling constantly comfy. i'm about to enter the next part of my life. it's one i never thought i would have. i found a career path/industry i want to be apart of. i want to help other humans in whatever capacity i can. life really is about people. but life is also about me. i'm learning to be selfish, and not to be sorry about it. i have been toying with the decision of what province i'm meant to live in. i have asked many people their opinions, talked to my family about where my head is, and have taken my best friends thoughts very seriously. i have learned a lot about myself in the last year. i have learned what emotions and behaviors are prominent. i constantly think i'm suppose to stay in nova scotia because this is where my family is, and my friends i have had since my formative years. i love every single one of my humans here and i would not be the person i am today without them. this decision has nothing to do with me not wanting to be near them, quite the opposite, i wish i could take them with me. i felt guilty about wanting to live in a different province because i felt like i owed them an explanation, that i was worried about hurting their feelings and that i should feel guilty about not wanting to be here. it's not that i don't want to be here, it's that there's this huge country out there and i have been blessed to have so many people i love in so many different areas of canada. halifax is lovely, but at the same time it's extremely isolating to me. yes i have people here, but everyone is doing their own thing, as they should be! i'm happy and proud my family and friends have their lives here and their roots. i just don't know where to plant mine. i have tried to convince myself that halifax is where those roots are suppose to be and i'm still unsure. that's why i've changed my mindset. nothing is permanent. a location is just a location and you can always change your physical space if needed and wanted. this current season i'm about to enter is a selfish one, i'm going to embrace all those little things my soul is craving and just go for it and figure it out. we are also lucky to live in a time where social media and smart phones make it easy to connect with loved ones in different spaces, which leads me into my third and final thought for this week.
the third thought i want to get off my chest is the stigma around social media and millennials and all of the negative connotations that come with being born when i was born and being apart of the generation i am in. i for one, and super proud and happy to be a 90's baby and to have had the privilege of growing up as a kid without social media and technology, but then moved into the period of this super connected world. yes there are pros and cons to both. i am happy to have experienced both and to know the difference, yes we may be addicted to our phones. but i believe if you are able to have the happy medium between connecting with people through your phone as well as the people in front of you, you've got it made. i don't think it's fair that people judge us for being connected. we should be embraced and applauded for feeling comfortable and brave enough to share our thoughts with the internet. again, i know there is a good side and a bad side to this. i'm strictly talking about the good side. it's an opportunity and space for people to share what's going on in their lives. we are entering a time period where the stigmas around mental illness and human rights are slowly being diminished and i think we can thank the internet for that because it has given people a space to be themselves, to know it's okay to talk about how you are feeling and to be honest with yourself and the world. i don't think there is anything wrong with social media if you are using it correctly. kids should be taught nowadays the safe way of using it and how it change be extremely beneficial. we should not be shunned or judged or talked down to because we like to be connected. it's 2018, as far as i'm concerned, everything goes.in the words of john mayer, alive in the age of worry, smile in the age of worry, go wild in the age of worry, and sing worry, why should i care?
these are my thoughts from the sea for the week, thank you if you've made it this far, xo
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