company & comfort.

christmas is a family season/holiday. at least it always has been to me. growing up an extrovert in a home filled with introverted family members, christmas time was always a struggle for me.  i spent many christmas eve's in high school and after high school with my best friend and his family because they dressed up nice, had a nice meal, made yummy drinks and just enjoyed each other's company. they are a mixed family so there was four "kids" plus me and their significant others they had so it was always a nice, full house. my family on the other hand would always be just me, my brother and my parents. now do not get me wrong i love them with all that i have. but i am very different. christmas always felt lonely because i would come home from my best friends and the three people i lived with would all be doing their individual things, but they were happy doing that. it almost felt like too much work to try and do something together, or we were doing it because we felt we were supposed to, not because we enjoyed it. christmas day we would go to my grandparents on the bay of fundy which was always my highlight. i didn't care about the presents, i just liked being surrounded by people and getting to walk to the ocean after a meal. but as soon as the meal was done, my family was already ready to go back home. it took me years to accept that we are just different. one opinion isn't better than the other. we just appreciate people in different ways and wish and desire to spend our time differently.

last year i only slept at my parents on christmas eve and went back to my home in halifax christmas night as i flew to alberta boxing day morning to spend it with my second family and my best friends i've made since high school. this was the best holidays i've ever had in my opinion. we ate a lot and drank even more. most importantly, we were in each other's company and enjoyed every second of just being together. i am a people person. i love being cozy and feeling the love that can be in a room.

i am a sucker for traditions, and the idea of dreaming about traditions i will someday make with my husband and children and my friends families and their children. this may be many years down the road, but it's what gets me through the loneliness that can come with the holidays. i spent years of christmas eve's with my best friends, going to the beach and jumping in the ocean and drinking hot chocolate. this was our tradition and it's one i hope we pass down to our kids some day.




this year is my first holiday season completely away from home and my family. i can't complain. i chose to move to a different province to pursue my first job in my chosen field. i am ecstatic and feel so lucky to have a job so soon out of school, but that doesn't make the loneliness any less prominent. i have to work overnight christmas eve and boxing day. i think being busy will be a good thing to keep me preoccupied being away from home. i have a lovely roommate with lovely children who i will see on christmas day when i get off from work and one of my best friends lives three hours away and as soon as i get off after boxing day i am driving right there so we can watch friends on the couch, eat christmas food, and to spend time with her and her family.


i think i want to start making a list of the things i want to become tradition in the coming years. there's no reason i can't start doing some of them by myself to test out as well. things like finding a new favourite baking recipe, and a drink recipe. one thing i've been doing for a couple years is watching love actually on christmas eve. this is my favourite christmas movie and i look forward to watching it every year. i would love to find a book that is suiting for the holidays and read it every year. those little simple things that make what can be a lonely time, feel more full.

holidays can be great, but remember to check in with your friends who may be having a harder time this time of year. i hope you all have the most magical time doing whatever it is that makes you happy this time of year. thank you for reading if you've gotten this far. these are my thoughts from the sea this week. xo


ps. here are a few of my favourite christmas songs if you need some music to add to your christmas playlists:
- winter dreams (brandon's song) - kelly clarkson
-my favourite things - kelly clarkson
-fairytale of new york  - the pogues
-christmas lights - coldplay
-angels we have heard on high - sufjan stevens
and my absolute favourite christmas song of all time, oh holy night ( i am still undecided as to whose version i love most)