comfort & joy

i am fully embracing the holidays already.

i have always been sucker for the holidays. i am a very sentimental, empathetic, cozy craving human being. i was dreading this season this year. i had a very warm, adventure filled summer with a jam packed schedule for every second i wasn't working. as fall crept in, which is usually my favourite time of year, specifically october, i began to feel what i believe to be a bit of seasonal affective disorder, better known as SAD and boy is that accurate. i don't have a diagnosis, but i relate heavily with a lot of the symptoms of SAD. as someone who works on the daily with individuals dealing with all different levels of mental health diagnosis, i knew i didn't have time for myself, or for the individuals i work with, to take the time to spend too much time feeling depressed and sluggish. i'm not gonna lie. october was brutal. what is usually the month i look forward to the most in the year, was the one i couldn't wait until it was over. i decided i deserved more. that i deserved, and needed to feel better. now i'm not gonna say everyday since that realization has been all rainbows and lollipops but sometimes i do believe it takes feel so down and crappy and feeling near rock bottom to kick off from the ground and raise back up to where you belong. for some that near bottom means therapy, a stress leave, new or changing of medications, a vacation, etc. we all cope and deal and learn to flourish in our own ways. 

back to the first line of the blog. embracing the holidays. it was a weird transition from a near perfect summer, to fall that crept in with all it's sadness with the pinacle event of the passing of my grandfather. fall just sucked. i have no other way to put it. i was dreading the holidays this year because i didn't know who i was, where i was suppose to be, or what i was doing. i still don't know a lot of those details but that's okay. i am embracing this season of comfort. bundling up and walking to work with a warm cup of coffee. it's coming home and changing into my favourite wool socks and a sweater and lighting my favourite balsam candle. not beating myself up if all i want to do is be in my warm home after a day of work. i've been watching christmas movies and writing them down on my phone and ranking how much i like them. i have been making christmas crafts and filling my home with warm, comforting smells. i am feeling so lucky and honoured to have met so many strong, strong people in the last year who i am constantly surrounded by at work. i love my friends who push me by simply pushing themselves to learn more about who they are and to push their own limits to be the best possible version of a human being they can be. i am learning to not be so scared of time going by too quickly and to just enjoy each day for what it is. 

for me i am going into the holiday season early because it feels good. it feels cheerful, hopeful and happy. for me it's a time to embrace being with people i love, doing cozy, comforting things that i love. 

i'm hoping to have a reflective next month or so and spend more time connecting with my inner thoughts and sharing them with all of you. this time of year is slowly turning into my favourite. i am welcoming the cold weather, because ironically it's making my heart and soul warmer. i have been noticing the little details so much lately and being in awe of how truly wonderful my surroundings are. i need to express my gratitude more instead of focusing on the things that don't feel right.

it's truly the little things. like:

wine bottles in backpacks.

honey at the bottom of a tea cup. 

the sound of a candle crackling. 

the sound of clients giggling and playing cards together. 

the phone ringing with someone excited to tell me about their day. 

christmas movies and the reminder of how pure love is and the importance of loving people platonically. 

the anticipation of spending time with my favourite humans over the next month. 

i hope you are able to embrace this cozy time of year, to not be too hard on yourself and to just see each day for what it is, a chance to make someone smile, an opportunity to make things, like crafts and home cooked meals alike. to drink too much eggnog and to simply love love love the crap out of the people in your life. 

thank you if you've made it this far, these are my thoughts from the sea this week, xo 

ps. here is a list of the christmas movies i've watched so far this year: 
1.let it snow
2.the holiday engagement 
3.holiday in the wild
4.christmas survival
5.christmas inheritance 
6.holiday calendar
7.noelle

christmas survival is definitely my favourite one - it's about a family who lives in an old farm house in an english countryside outside of london and her sister who is an actress from LA comes home for the holidays. soooo cute and fits right in with my cozy theme this year. so many more to watch! the tim allen santa claus movies are forever my favourites as well as love actually obviously, and sound of music! not a christmas movie but i always seem to watch it over the holiday with my mum. i wasn't able to go home for christmas for the first time last year, feeling fortunate, depending on the price of plane tickets, to be able to spend the holidays with my family this year. 

debating what my favourite christmas song is way harder to think about. i love all the classics, o holy night being one that always gives me goosebumps. a not so classic choice of my favourite would be fairytale of new york by the pogues. what are your favourite movies and songs?!