it's june.

 it’s june, 

 i picked enough lilacs for my friends, neighbours, and my landlords. it’s the first after all, rent is due and i feel so lucky to have a home to rent with a yard full of flowers to share. 

 it’s june, the sun is here longer already. i feel myself coming back to life. i have been lax on some things, but instead of looking at that as laziness, i am reframing as the fact that my body and mind needed a bit of leash. i have experienced some fight or flight feelings the last couple of months professionally, which has caused me to put my physical health on the back burner. i have learned this is not ideal, but hey, it’s june, and we are feeling alive again and ready to

f o c u s. 

 

it’s june, i’m daydreaming about how in my next life i would like to be a flower and strawberry farmer. while i putter around the yard, i am in awe of the resilience that is nature and how it grows and shapes around everything. from the homemade beach rock steps my cousin built the first summer we lived here together, to the grass regrowing around the pallets full of wood cut by the hands of my loved ones for me. how unbelievably overwhelming it is for me sometimes that people care enough to help with such a task, because they don’t want me to be cold. 

 

those types of moments, actions of love, how rich my life is. i need to remember this. i catch myself often getting caught in the societal pressure of being 30 and no kids, no husband. as much as i think i would like those things someday. i also need to remind myself (and others) that there is more important things to me than “are you seeing anyone” or “how are you still single” 

 

some of the things that are more important than my relationship status:

• how much i care and love my friends and family

• that i have driven every km of the trans canada, coast to coast 

• my ability to make friends with strangers at 2am in new york city and bond over mutual love of hotdogs 

• my desire to give people hope. if i can give just even one person hope for the days to come, my job is done. 

• how much i love animals (sometimes more than humans)

• that i have perfected my aunts chocolate chip cookie recipe

• that if i love you, no matter how platonic, i hope you know you have a space in my heart and always will. even if we don’t talk anymore, or not as much as i wish. you have space here. 

• i may be fickle about many things, but my blessing and curse is to feel things so deeply, and i hope can impact someone else for the better with that. 

it’s june, it’s now raining as i finish this post. how fitting, the sky opened up and released and sighed a breathe of fresh, uncomplicated air, and now that i have put these thoughts out here, so have i. 

happy june everyone, thank you if you’ve made it this far. 

 

thoughtsfromthesea